Thursday, March 10, 2011

How I became a statistic

So after high school I got a car, my 2nd job, and eventually my own place. I was enjoying my freedom. 1 day I took a little trek to a local hamburger place where I met a guy -I knew he was kinda putting the moves on me and although he was the type of guy your parents warned against -older, with a van- and only 1 thing on his mind -Surprisingly I didn't really care. We were together for a little while and we had a good time. I knew we wouldn't be together forever -not the guy I wanted to marry -So, I was ok when he wanted to break it off. Besides I had other guys interested in me anyway...

Although I was enjoying my freedom I was still fairly tame -I did still go to church occasionally. There was a guy at church - we kinda dated. At my job as a waitress -there were guys all the time that would flirt and I would flirt back sometimes -it seems a lot of them were a bit skeevy though. There was 1 guy that was really nice though-we kinda dated. And there was another guy who I'd known through school -we kinda dated. I remember thinking it was pretty awesome coming home to my own apartment and there would be literally messages from these 3 different guys. So, yeah I kinda juggled them for a bit -but, I knew once it started getting serious I'd have to make some tough decisions... 1st the church guy -we ended up making a pretty mutual decision to break it off . The guy who I met through work -he was seriously so sweet -he was ready to take things to the next level -but, I just couldn't -I had to tell him there was someone else -breaking hearts can be really hard!

So, yep for some reason I decided to take things to the next level with this other guy. And yes -he is my "baby daddy". Unlike other teen mom stories I didn't give birth in a Walmart and it didn't exactly all start in Spanish class -although we did have Spanish class together. No, we originally met years ago-yep- on the school bus. *flashback* We were friends -I knew he liked me -and I did flirt with him sometimes-(I've been called a tease more than once in my life ;). But, I didn't want to cross that line besides I didn't think he was my type -he was kind of the brooding ; smoke behind the building at school kind of guy. We would talk on the phone a lot though. Over the years we lost touch after we both moved a couple of times. But, it seemed we always got back in touch -He called me after he was in a bad wreck and in the hospital -We even went on kind of a date soon after that -as he hobbled around with a rod in his leg. I was surprised by how much he changed since the last time I saw him -less scrawny more buff and more handsome in general. I thought maybe he would be my date to senior prom -but, he lived in a different town and by then had started to see another girl. I actually didn't even go to my senior prom even though I had a dress and everything. Anyway *fast forward* -He was 1 of the 1st people I called to come see my new apartment -we started hanging out- we were together in every sense of the word. Soon I found out I was pregnant- in the beginning things were great. There was even talk of marriage -But, at times it also felt like more of an obligation. I knew he was the type to smoke,drink,and party in general -even though I did go to a few wild parties it was never my scene. I began to wonder what was more important to him -us and our baby -or partying. He lived with me for awhile -that was a disaster. Soon it all just seemed like a disaster. I eventually realized -I was pregnant and I really wasn't ready and he wasn't either -he was actually younger than me (by 6mo's) and still needed to finish school. I called my dad -he helped me get all my stuff and I moved back in with my dad -but, then that was about 300 miles away from where I was. I was still with my "boyfriend" but, most of the time I would call him -he wouldn't call me -he didn't make plans to visit me - I knew his vehicle was not that reliable though. I don't remember now why -but, my dad and sister were taking a trip that way -so, I took my very pregnant butt on this trip -several hours away. I finally reached my "boyfriend" on the phone and told him he better come make the 15min -30min trip to see me at this hotel we were staying at -But, he wouldn't! So, that was it -We officially broke up. I later learned from some of his family that he was pretty bad into drugs and supposedly didn't want me to see him like that or whatever. I've only talked/seen him a couple of times since. His mom and him did make the trip to see his daughter soon after she was born and they did bring gifts and money to help me out. And I took a trip that way once while she was still a baby -But, there was no talk of trying to reconcile. I did what I felt was best for me and my daughter -I know people that struggle with addiction -it's a life long struggle. I'm not really sure how his life is now -if he's "clean" or not or whatever. I know he's out there -and his mom even recently tried to contact me through facebook -I haven't heard back though -So, we're still in the same place. But, that's the story of how I became a statistic and my ex-factors. Some of my exes I know bits through the grapevine, some I have no clue, I think most still live in this state-some pretty dang close!, I even have a confirmed gay ex-boyfriend-we're still friends BTW, and then there's other connections-the flirtations,the crushes, maybe someone had 1 on me I didn't know about. Of course all that is in the past now -just part of my story -and then of course I met my husband -And in the present we'll soon be celebrating 12 yrs. of marriage :)


Brandy@YDK said...

a very interesting story. i guess you kept your daughter?

Mom Mayhem says: said...

Yep -I became a single teen mom and I couldn't imagine my life with out her :)